I’m here, I am.

A girl is spending the day at the park. She notices the clouds’ shadow rolling across the grass while that same wind rustles that very grass. The girl looks up and the sun peaks out from behind the clouds making her shut her eyes quickly but she doesn’t look away. The warmth of the sun, with all of it’s brightness, even through her eyelids she can experience it.

In many ways we are either the girl or the sun, sometimes both at the same time. When we are afraid we close our minds waiting, hoping for someone to tell us when it’ll be safe again. We have to shine with everything we have so we can see there is something warm beyond our fears. The funny thing about light is you don’t have to yell and scream to tell people it’s on. They can see it and feel it; in some cases we can even hear it.

With the sun shining through her eyelids the girl spoke.

“My eyes are closed but the sun is still shining.”


Insanity of the Writer

A person who dips in and out of different points of view, universes and thought patterns. By this definition a writer should be insane by “normal” standards however a good writer can differentiate between reality and the realities they create for their characters. Writers are no more crazy than any person with imagination.

Convexly in order for a writers audience to believe the world they’ve created the writer has to believe in it more so. They must walk it’s streets, fly it’s skies and talk to its inhabitants. They must eat its food and partake in their beverages according to local customs. The writer must live along side the people, crying for their losses and reveling in their accomplishments. The writer should find it hard to say goodbye to these people for they were created with love and passion. Like any real world love, the writer must know when to let go.

The writer should see through many lenses but the writer must keep in mind that lenses alter their view and that at the end of the day the mind does not need glasses.

The Wisdom to Know

A conversation between Panzer Steegle and an Energy Being.


“Well you guys are hyper advanced compared to us on Earth, it’s more than likely life will exist 4 billion years from now. How are you going to prevent the collision of Andromeda and Milky Way.”

She gave me a look one would expect from their grandparent before speaking.

“Why would you want to stop existence?”

“That’s not stopping existence! It’s preventing billions of planets from being destroyed and countless systems from being eaten by blackholes!”

“Keeping our two galaxies in their current places throws all the other galaxy’s out of balance. Are our lives so important as to disrupt and destroy countless others whom we may never meet, solely because we don’t know them? We know their stories. Families, children, persons whom are ill, persons whom are doing all they can to improve someone else’s life in the face of evil and negativity.”

“So what you’re saying is, it’s possible to control a galaxy… but it’s irresponsible?”

“Of course it isn’t possible! Could you stand in front of a speeding, out of control truck and stop it from running you over with just your Earthling body?”

Writing Reflection

I’ve become accustomed to thinking in story. That is to say that I believe people want a story that is different enough from their own that they can feel something different that they normally do not experience in their own life.

On the other side of the coin people also want to be connected enough to the story that they are experiencing (through whichever medium) in order to escape their own life and join someone else in theirs, normally as an observer, sometimes as a vague participant.

A story cannot exist just to exist. It must fill a need [void] in order to properly exist. Otherwise it is as soulless as a 9-5 cubical and an empty fridge. In that sense the story is not.

Set within these confines a story can be anything, all stories have an audience whether it be 1 or 1 million and a story can change our views; for better or worse.

Good Music, Bad Musician?

My aim for this article is to be as concise as possible. This is not an essay, or a thesis, this is an expansion and exploration of a thought rumbling around in my mind for a while now.

My sister told me one one day that the lead singer of a band I liked in high-school was now in prison for something extremely disgusting and depraved. The lead singer of the Lost Prophets was sentenced to 35 years in jail for pedophilia. Immediately this made me sick and I got rid of all the music I had from them. Then I heard something that made me think, there was one article I read that mentioned the royalties from his music, it was then the question formed in my mind.

Will it ever be “ok” to listen to music that came from a horrible person? Regardless of what you assume my musical tastes are, I’d bet it makes you wonder. What artists are shitty people? Classical music came to my mind next, albeit I was listening to WQXR at the time but still, I had another thought. Were there composers that were horrid displays of humanity? And what about other musical genres?

I did some searching for the names of some violent and sometimes murderous composers as well as musicians and here they are, Frank Sinatra (Jazz/Lounge), Carlo Geswaldo(Classical Vocal), Varg Vikernes(Norwegian Black Metal), Spade Cooley(Swing), John Lennon(pop-rock/psychedelic rock), Jim Gordon(Blues/Psychedelic/Hard Rock), and the list goes on. Each accused or convicted of assault, battery, abuse, murder or attempted murder they have made music that many have acclaimed as; fun, mystifying, beautiful, or sick (in the good way). They may not all be equal in their negative traits but none was a saint.

But after finding the names, a simple thought came to mind. If music sounds good to your ears you should be allowed to enjoy it, HOWEVER, if that artist still profits from their work then you’ll just have to make that choice for yourself. Classical songs are some of the easiest to forget about the composer. It is more than likely you can hear the music played and conducted by people usually very far removed from the poor examples of humanity that were the originators.

But if finding out about a musicians sordid pasts turns your stomach to where you hear the music differently, then move on. This is the 21st century, there are tonnes of musicians on sites like Band Camp, Soundcloud, and OC Remix. So don’t fret, if you learned something about a musician you liked and now cannot listen to their work without thinking of their wrong doings there is no shortage of new and beautiful music for you to find.

Some may have tried to repent for their pasts, so it really is a personal thing whether you choose to enjoy their music and forget the person or forget their music exists. Some argue that music, once let out into the world, transcends the connection to it’s creator and becomes the peoples.

We can’t choose who can tap into the deep well of musical awe, but we can choose what we listen to.


Introspection is an important if not difficult practice. One must be able to look the ugly truth in the face and be willing to do something about it. Introspection, in short, is when you take a look at your self. Hopefully unabashedly and critically with the end result being enlightenment on what your faults are and how to start fixing/removing/improving them. However Introspection can lead to another serious problem.

Lying to yourself or even the inability to figure out your flaws because one does not view them as such. I’m not talking about that chortle you make when laughing, or the fact you have to count to 3 before you do something big. Things like that are not flaws, they may irritate other people but those are caveats or maybe, more appropriately, just apart of your character. The flaws of which I’m speaking are the things that make you unbearable to be around things that make you come off as arrogant, rude, snide or capable of no wrong no matter the situation are some flaws on the more extreme end of the spectrum but they help to describe what a flaw that should be worked on  would look like. Introspection should have you look back on interactions with other people in this case and try to remember their responses, and body language. The tones in their voice should be a bell ringer if you’re doing something that could be changed or altered a little.

Arrogance and the like are not the only things that should be worked on, another thing that may come to light are overly aggressive movements at times where they are not necessary. They may be habit, they may be learned, whatever the case identifying when you are doing them and why will help with your interactions with other people and may actually help you finally have a good interview or date.

Some things are not your fault per say but you must be mindful of how others would perceive them. I’m told many times that I seem snobbish or like i want to sound smarter than I really am. I often say I’m not trying to sound or come off as anything but attempting to learn or get a point across. Yet I must work on things such as word choice when I speak to avoid coming off as elitist.

This post is not saying that there are things inherently wrong with everything you do, this post is supposed to make you see that introspection can help you understand yourself more. We do not always have to change how we act or speak but when we look at why we do the things we do, perhaps we could trade confrontation for something more palatable, discussion.

Truth is a Fact of Fiction


What can be said of these is something more than one of them doesn’t fit. Often it is said that it is the victors of war who write our history. Our truth being the fact in their fiction, but on the less conspiratorial side there is still a correlation.

Truth: Something to be taken as fact or something that is believed to be a constant in life, such as 1 = 1. Truth is something we hold in high regard when dealing with other people, whether we know them or not. To believe that someone is trust worthy means that we believe in their capacity to tell us information we can agree with.

However, it has been said that someone can lie to themselves so intently that they can start to take those lies as truth. So if truth ends up being just what you choose to believe then it cannot be as solid as many people want it to be.

Fact: Something that is inherent and accepted as true. A fact is indisputable beyond all question. This little gem of unwavering is thought to be something of a higher value than a truth… perhaps.

On the other hand facts that are based on bad information become nothing more than truth by another name. However it is also possible that maybe just maybe a fact is the unwavering one and people are too agreeable, not having any of their own thoughts or opinions.

Fiction: Something which is made up. People, places, things all created from an imagination happy to think of preposterously erroneous scenarios where impossible things happen all the time and yet because of that fact fiction can become common place.

One must remember that fiction cannot be a fact or a truth except within it’s own confines. In a cleverly designed world by the writer/storyteller, any fictitious sounding information is rendered a truth for the sustainability of the story. So through a carefully crafted story fiction can become fact and truth. But like we must always keep in mind these stories are not real, nor have they ever taken place.

The question isn’t fact or fiction, the statement is truth is fact is fiction.

Truth fact fiction

Previous Older Entries