It is important when trying to learn that you listen as much as you try to do. To realize when you’ve shoved your foot in your mouth, learn how to remove said foot, use it to take a step back, and reassess whatever mess you’ve created.
Understanding something is a multi-step process that can take a few seconds or years. But above anything else one must first understand how to listen, and reflect. I realize this may sound like it’s common knowledge but common knowledge for what era? In this age of “Teh Internets” we find it difficult, as humans, to listen.
We speak as easily as we breath, but most never give speech the full thought it deserves. More often than not, this lack of premeditation leads to misconstrued ideas, and we too quickly resort to the “fisticuffs” figurative, or literal. It takes time to understand, and yet this is time we believe we do not have. We live by the nano-second and schedule by the decade, but we never give ourselves time to reflect on all the things others, and ourselves say. Which leads me to the comment section, ah how I love it. It is the primordial ooze where people forget everything they know and flame another person. Whether it’s the grammar nazi’s, arm chair physicists, professional trolls, cannibal trolls, or the first nubs, I relish the comments that come from someone with a clear mind, someone who has actually understood what they’ve read or just watched, or even the innocent question. I never think what I say or believe is written in stone, I know this to be the only truth, meaning I can always learn something new. I just have to let it happen.
A bit of a personal reflection
Ok, so I’ve been writing this book for a while now, and for the most part, I’ve been churning out chapter, after chapter, and word, after word. Whether it was conversation, inner monologue, or reworking the way I set up each scene for the reader. It went as smooth as writing a novel can go.
I started about 2 years ago. I wrote it based on a short story I had to make up on the fly, as per request from one of my friends at a birthday party, in a cabin in Pennsylvania. It was so awesome, the party i mean….despite the almost driving off a cliff at one point… and almost hitting a deer…and us still not being sure if we saw a stray dog that looked rabid… but I digress. I put random bits together and before I knew it I finished the story, and was surprised at how well it came out. Normally I ramble on and screw up my words and fumble over what I’m thinking and what my mouth is producing. But this story had a flow I have never been able to verbalize. Normally my words made more sense written down than spoken (which is saying something) I think too fast and speak to slow, even my typing isn’t as fast as I think but seeing my words helps me to realize what I’m trying to say, ya with me? lol
Right! my novel, so since that party up to this year I’ve written about 289 pages of conflict love and family, sprinkled with special abilities and dimensional entities. About a month ago i came upon an issue, a rather serious one which a few days later realized how common it is. A friend I have was engaged (now married) and i had posted on my facebook about this issue. As it turned out she was facing the same issue. My status went something like, “How does a parent stop genuinely caring about their child?” In the book the father had completely changed his personality, he no longer cared if his daughter lived or died. “There are more important issues than dealing with that right now.” He said to his daughters biological-mother. Now i know at the end of the book everything is going to end up honkey dorey and what not but, I had painted myself into a corner and for the first time, I didn’t (and still DON’T by the way) have a quick path around it.
What would it take for a person like that to turn back into their old self? My friend having already had some time to deal with her mom’s rejection of her impending marriage, said this, “I will still love my mom, but for me and her to talk again she’s going to have to realize I’m not a child anymore.” At which point two things happened. I felt sad and happy, happy for her because she had found some kind of piece. Sad for me because i couldn’t just skip over the change and have everyone happy again. It would seem I would have to re-read what i wrote here first about what it takes to truly understand something or in this case, someone. Funny I gave myself some sound advice but I don’t know where to start with it.